How do you like it when you are upset about something and your partner won’t even let you finish your train of thought.
They already have their denial or rebuttal already organized and “come at you” with their rationale about why you are wrong.
This is called rehearsal, and it means exactly what it sounds like. The person you want to understand you isn’t really listening.
Rehearsing is a very common listening mistake.
It’s pretty easy to spot too. The listener’s eyes tend to trail off and you can almost see their mind sorting through how they can defend themselves from what they feel is your attack.
Of course, you are only expressing your thoughts and feelings, which ultimately is more important to both of you than who is right.